I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
