Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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