yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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