sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
