she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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