we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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