I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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