Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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