I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
