They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize