hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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