If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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