Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
