The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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