She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
