If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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