physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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