i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
