If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
