I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
