sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
