when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
