Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize