oh god the rape fog is back!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
