Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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