'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
