you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
