Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize