Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
