The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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