I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
