Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just pee around me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
