he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
