It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
