I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
