Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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