Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just had sex on a roof
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
