Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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