I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
