Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
