On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize