Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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