I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
