He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
