its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
