Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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