I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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