I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
