that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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