it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
