I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
