Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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