You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
