Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
