So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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