you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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