I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
