do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
