spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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